Heartbeat of a Girl.
To my Heartbeat of a Girl,
You know how in relationships how people say,” Long Distance Suck!!” Trust me, knowing that you are thousands of miles away from me and I cannot do anything about it, ‘Suck’ doesn’t even begin to cover my emotions! It is not even close to being ‘suck’. What it is close to is being ‘IMPOSSIBLE’.
Impossible for me to imagine or even begin to imagine, how it is to not be at your peck and call or you not being there for me!
It’s like I wake up one day and you are tossed across oceans away from me. Or I am tossed away from you. Life is a bitch and it has this knack of throwing people away from you as far as possible.
I come away from you for ‘future prospects’ and or you go away for ‘better endeavors’.
It’s funny now to see how our relationship (I prefer to call it a relationship- friendship is too mediocre for You and Me) has taken a turn now. Earlier we didn’t need a phone to speak our heart out. I could just come to you, hug you and you would understand. For that matter, we didn’t even need a phone!
Now that very phone is full of crazy apps that claim to bring you closer to me.
Facebook isn’t even close to being my favorite social media page, but now it tells me where you checking in, or where you been! I don’t like Facebook. My territorial heart aches when FB shows me you with people where I am supposed to be!
Time zones too are adding to my misery! I have to wake up in the middle of the night to wish you for your birthday just so that I don’t lose the ‘slot’ of being the first one to wish you.
That is actually the beginning of my woes with the time zone! Remember when we wake up and just drop a random text and a hundred texts following on how we aren’t replying immediately- only to realize because the other must be snoring away to glory at 3am on her time zone!
I painstakingly plan a small surprise for you to be delivered online and post. Honestly, after the first time it went kaput I don’t even bother anymore! Wonder who is wearing the ethnic elephant printed skirt if it hasn’t reached you!!
You are now in this stupid place that not only has a different time zone but also weird weather! I hate it when I am sending you summery pictures and praising the glorious morning while you are huddled between duvets and a hot chocolate!
Every weekend I promise you a skype date- only to be disappointed because my net connection sucks or you randomly decide to go to the supermarket or I forget and get out of home only to find your missed calls after!
I am yet to believe how I send you a message asking which dress to buy and when you reply I have already bought the one you ‘did not choose’!
I know soooo many things about this new boyfriend or crush of yours. Even the kind of toothpaste he uses- but I am yet to see him in person.
Although I love you to the moon and back and want you to be happy where ever and with whomever you are, I prefer if I am a part of it too! After all how can somebody else love you more than I already do?! I am not jealous, don’t get me wrong- but I don’t like to share. Wait let me rephrase- I don’t like to share YOU!
You know me more than I do. Even though you are almost half way through the world, one virtual hug makes my day.
I love you because you can deal with my drama and my mood swings. I can cry and talk filth about somebody one day and praise the same person the next day and you would not judge me for contradicting myself!
I love you because I can message you to ask you to call me beautiful and you’ll say it almost like you are my boyfriend!
I love how we go months without speaking to each another but when we do its like we spoke the night before! Every single time.
I love how you travel miles just to be with me on my special day and make such a massive huge difference to my life!
I feel so secure with the fact that mobile network connections can be shit, internet connections can fluctuate but the connection you and me share, stay ever so strong every time! It is almost like a mobile tower is fixed in my heart! Ha ha.
I love how no matter how broken we are; we can still fix each other!
I love how we have so many memories of which we can talk time and again and never get bored.
I love how no man ever becomes important to us. Boyfriends and lovers may walk in and walk out and all we need to do is connect with each other and remind ourselves how awesome we are; and what a loss for him to lose us!
I love how every Christmas and birthday there is a card or memento from you that reminds me of how loved I am!
I love how I smile when I hear your favorite song and can almost see you dancing crazy in my room and jumping on my bed; like we once did!
But shall I tell you what is the most important of all things? It is that I love you. I love you so much that I am almost crying only thinking about you.
I love you so much that every line here got a teary full stop at the end.
And I love you so much that the universe may try with all its might to take you further away from me physically but it shall always kneel before me when it comes to taking you away emotionally from my heart!
Ok, now I miss your face! Can you quickly send me a teary eyed picture when you finish reading this?