As you bent down to blow the candles on your cake, huffing away and failing, I gave a little smile behind the camera. I would have it no other way. I am waiting here from the last eight minutes for you to be successful, for you, to blow those three colorful candles on your cake. And trust me it is worth every second of those eight minutes.
I recollect how I am always clicking your every milestone. First time you opened your eyes, first tooth, first step, first word, first burp, first smile, first illness, first solid meal, first holiday, first car trip, first boo boo! First of everything! Yes, I collect them all knowing the fact that one day I will be left with these memories only while you are busy making me proud in some part of the world. You my child will always make me proud. Please don’t let them world tell you otherwise. You see, how I take your silly drawings and stick them onto the cabinets for all to see? Because my child, I am a proud parent. We are proud to have made you. We live each day with the fact that someday will be the last day you will draw those silly drawings and very soon there won’t be any ‘firsts’ to capture.
I want you to know there are two people in the world that you can always run back to, irrespective how old or how broken or how successful you are. Us.
For now, stay still my child. Let the time not fly. I want to use the settings on this camera and go back to the day we helped you blow your first candle. When you just howled and bawled because ‘outside people’ were not your thing. Give me a few more moments to nuzzle your powdered neck and roll a finger on your pink lips. Let me run my hand on that full belly and breathe the baby oil smell. Let me count those ten little fingers and ten tiny toes, from when they placed you in my arms for the first time. I remember staring into the depths of your face and wondering, how could I even MAKE this? How is it possible for my heart to suddenly beat only for this little bundle that has no opinion? How can my feelings change in a couple of seconds, when it took me days or even months earlier to develop feelings for someone?
Every time I post a picture of you on the social media, I am usually hit with ‘time flies’ comments. I reply ‘yes’ but with a sigh. No, I am not enjoying this ‘time flies’ phase. I do not want the time to fly. I want the time to go in dodgy baby steps. Like your first ones. I want to relish every bit of you, like some exotic dish, every little characteristic that you are shaping into and every little quality you develop, I want to relish it completely and still want for more!
Go slow my child. Go slow. I have all the time in the world to watch you grow. Someday I will write some life lessons for you when you are older, but today let me just spend another eight minutes to watch to blow your candles and drool over your cake. For another year you may have blown them before I even begin to click a picture of you!